Cinderella, Santa, and Pixie Fairy's!

My little kids believe in some very interesting things. At Christmas time my 5 year old puts out Cookies for Santa and Carrots for his reindeer. When she wakes up Christmas morning she truly believes that Santa and Rudolph came into our house and partook!

I've never heard her break down the specifics of what an overnight trip to every house in the world would take. She's never asked me how a deer can defy gravity and fly from house to house... she just believes.

I have had a faith in God as my creator and Jesus as my savior and redeemer for nearly 30 years. Although i wonder on a daily basis how God can speak the Universe into existance. How did he speak and human life came to be. Every day i wonder how over 4000 years ago a guy named Moses walked on dry ground through the Red Sea. I still wonder how Jesus physically was dead... but he defied death and came back to life



I wonder how people who believe in a loving God/Savior can meet sunday morning and sing and talk about Freedom yet they live chained to religion?

There's a lot that doesn't make sense to me

Whats my problem?

Then I recently stumbled upon this:

Luke Chapter 10 Verse 21

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

Are you kidding? Is it that easy?



All the truths of God are hidden in the children and the way they process things?

I will become a student at home now! When my daughter asks me if Cinderella truly sleeps in Cinderella's castle at Disney World in Orlando... I'll smile! She's helping me under stand my maker!

Just believe!

wrestle with God

i would like to start this by saying that I am in awe of God. I "fear" God in the awestruck sense. How can you not? Look at what he's made. Look at this litle seed of faith in me that connects me to an unseen creator... I am obviously in awe of Him.

But what i am about to say may sound unconventional.

I truly believe God wants to pick a fight with some of us!

Before calling the religion police on me... let me explain.

Genesis 32 is a chapter that is tough for a lot of people to explain (including me)
All i know is that a great man of faith (Jacob) was ravaged by fear.
He questioned all the things God had been promising Him for years.
Jacob sent half of his crew to ease the fear... the other half he sent into retreat mode.
Which means... Jacob was alone.
In a piece of scripture that a lot of people have a hard time explaining God came down and physically wrestled with Jacob... i am not sure in what form but i know he battled him in some sense... even came away with a limp ... the limp was like a scar... proof that you got cut!!!!

I have spent many nights like Jacob...swimming in a bottom-less pool of fear.
When i read about God visiting Jacob in his tent to "do battle with Him" ... it gives me chills because God has visited my tent many times and i fought and yelled and screamed at Him!!

"why did this happen?"
"rescue me from these circumstances"
"thats not fair"
"cut down my enemies"
"you said that i am your kid and yet you allow trouble to beat me up"

I finally got the point.

God would rather have me yelling and screaming at Him than have me run away.

I am not the only one that runs to things to ignore a pending clash with God.

Shopping, alcohol, movies, books, excercise, sports, sleep ... we will do what we can to avoid hashing things out with God

The picture that comes to mind is an image of a person beating on God's chest.

While beating on God's chest you are yelling "WHY AM I HURTING AND IN PAIN?"

"WHY WON'T YOU TAKE IT AWAY"

yell, beat on His chest ... in the end your strength and efforts will leave you tired and you will fall against Him and He will wrap you in comfort.

either way... The Creator of the Universe and lover of your soul is so madley in love with you just the way you are that He'd rather have you raise your voice at Him than run away and ignore him.

Like King David hiding in a field yelling to God to slay David's enemies... He was frustrated, angry, and confused but i will end this the same way he did

you are great God... and your love endures forever!

The coolest city in the world!!!!

Returned from vacation on Saturday the 8th of September. Still on a high!

Boston has got to be the coolest city in the world. And of all the cities i've been to... it was the most memorable... that includes Hong Kong, London, Dublin, New York, Chicago, Seattle on and on...

maybe it's cuz i'm a history nerd. there's somethin' about history that can physically take your breath away. if you stand in the right spot.



To explain... let me compare the New York leg of the trip and the New England leg of the trip.

And don't get me wrong. New York has unbelievable Rev War history, but the places to visit in New England can transport you back 300 years where as NY has too many tourist distractions to focus on their emmense history.


Here's where my buddies and I hit:

New York
Statue of Liberty
Staten Island Ferry
Time Square
Rockefeller Center
Yankee game vs. Mariners!
Central Park
Wall Street
9/11 site

Boston/New England
Fenway Park (Red Sox game- Unreal!!!)
The freedom Trail- stood where the Boston Massacre happened
stood in Paul Revere's house
stood at the grave sites of Paul Revere, Samuel Adams, Jon Adams, the martyrs in the Boston Massacre.
Stood on the ground of the battle of Lexington
Stood on the path that led to the Battle of Concord
Stood on the bridge where the British and Colonists fought in Concord.
Plymouth Mass... stood where the Mayflower landed.
Bunker Hill in Boston... first actual skirmish of the Rev War.


all these things will take your breath away if you can take away the modern buildings and just look at the surroundings and let your mind go back 200 years. literally you'll stop breathing for a second.

Boston was just so cool. Hangin' in Haverhill, Mass. Drivin' through Conneticut and Rhode Island. Havin' ice cream in Plymouth across from the Plymouth Rock. Also sitting in an irish pub on Bunker Hill talkin' sox baseball with the locals!

This trip was the coolest i've ever taken and would go back in a heart beat!!

I guess the combo of baseball and history are a powerful combo!

Alabama...roll tide roll

One of the things i love about living in Tennessee is access to cultures that are so new to me. I took a weekend trip to Florence, Alabama with my friend Bobby whom is from a little town called Winfield, AL. We hit the lake in Florence by 10 at night. It's actually 2 lakes seperated by a beastly dam in the middle. Bobby and i joined Bobby's childhood friend Taylor who is a semi-pro fisherman with a $50,000 Bassmaster fishing boat!! So cool... until Taylor hit 71 mph out on the lake... i was reminding him that i have 2 little girls at home and would love to see them again.

We bounced back and forth between the 2 lakes but i loved slamming the boat right up against the dam. Although i was nervous that the currents would suck us right under. We saw some guys catch some Stripers that were as big as my 4 year old.

I caught 2 Slip Jacks that wouldn't stop shaking when i pulled them in. Unfortunately one of them was bleeding soooo bad that it was like putting your face up to a wet dog while he shakes the water off him. Although it wasn't water it was blood. i swallowed some. Had bad dreams that night. i think it was the blood.

we fished from 10pm-6am. Drove an hour to Winfield, AL pop 1000 people. we were falling asleep as the sun was coming up and had to stop at a podunk gas station where some old guy from Deliverance got out of his beat up old ford. overalls and no teeth.. insert banjo.

Winfield was sooo cool and so southern. BBQ pork, Sweet potatoe fries, sweet tea... it was amazing... cheap and greasy in a tiny little diner filled with Alabama Crimson Tide gear and a few Auburn Tiger flags...

talk of race. interesting. i always dreamed of getting to the deep south one day. i think race troubles are deep seeded down there.. but i swear hatred between Auburn/Alabama fans is worse...

the trees are different in Alabama. The air and vegetation is different compared to Tennessee... I like Alabama... it's so not where i'm from that it's interesting.
...

Everyone truly seemed to know everyone in Winfield. I think that would make me clostrophobic...

We had Bobby's mom in the car on the way back from the restraunt (only 2 in town) and we stopped at her moms house. (no one lives there) but we stopped by to check on the fig trees and i found out what the heck a fig is.. it's not a bunch of newtons on a tree... it's a little fruit!!!

ps... we ran over the worlds smallest bunny rabbit on the drive back to TN. must have just popped like a frog it was so small.

roll tide

Hades must be bad...

I always make it a routine to sit outside on the porch in the rocking chair thats too cheep to rock. This is my 3rd summer in Tennessee and i can tell my blood has thinned a little bit. But today while attempting to "rock" i had an epiphany (hope thats correct spelling)

100 years ago people road horses to and from my town of Spring Hill into Franklin. All summer. I am starting to think those generations of southerners/americans were just a tougher breed of human. they went through more. wars, catching and eating their food, and even dealing with heat and humidity because thats just part of life.

I can't sit out in 104 heat index days like today with out feeling like a deer in headlights. I just sit and stare into the haze created by the heat as if a car is coming right at me. I have to respect those early settlers. they were tougher.

if you get a chance to come to nashville. visit "The Hermitage". andrew jackson's home. they left it as is and if you take the tour in the summer time you'll get a good feel for what i am talking about. they had to build their houses based on the way the wind blows in the summer time. or they'd die.

i'm learning things about myself. I've learned that i get irritated and grumpy in this heat and i just want to be left alone until i get to AC. It's almost like i'm mad at the heat because there's no where to hide and it won't let up.

Not to mention if you wanna go fishing. 3 in the morning it may drop down to 80 so you can stand in a lake with your shirt off in the middle of the night... although the fish are smarter than me and they've already swam towards air conditioned depths of the lake/river.

i love the south. i hate heat and humidity.

thanks for letting me vent. Vent? Where??? I'm roasting!
j

I'd rather die....

than to go on living w/o faith....

i honestly feel like my life is like swimming in a river into a strong current. somedays you are so 'tired' that you just want to stop swimming and let go.

medical worries

can i protect my kids and wife

can i provide for them

can i do the things i am passionate about professionally while i'm alive

will my neighbor keep mowing her lawn

can i get along with people

on and on and on....

I was mowing my lawn over the weekend and was listening to some worship songs. I chose that section of the IPOD because mentally i was 'swimming against the current' at that time.

for some reason music brings you to a place of reality. Spiritually speaking.

i was at war mentally. there was a line in this song that said "Twas Grace that has brought me here safe so far" --- i am here, i am alive, hanging by a thread ---- but part B of the line "and that same grace will lead me home"

at that moment i broke down. Not the mower... me! i got upset and was raising my voice at God. The mower was loud so the neighbors could not hear me yelling to God. But i wasn't in the mood to play religion. i need answers or i am going to drown.

i said... "God i'd rather die today than go on with the rest of my life not truly trusting you."

Mental picture... being tossed into the middle of the ocean and the only thing thrown to you is a lifesaver flotation device. I really can't handle what life is throwing at me. I was yelling to God "Either you are real and trust worthy or you're not"

It was that life or death statement that changed my life. I can't go on living this play-religion act. I won't live this life drowning in worry and fear. God if i can't let go and absolutely trust that you won't let me drown... then i'd rather drown.

** side note ** it's always funny how the moment you draw a line in the sand... you'll have a fight with your wife. you'll get another bill. a car issue will pop up. a medical issue will pop up.

every hour. every minute. i will trust you. you are all i have.

'twas grace that has brought me safe thus far.... and grace that will lead me home'